Let me just get my coat.’ Walking to the closet, I glanced quickly at Dan hoping for a reassuring smile or nod, but he was staring at the screen, his eyes weren’t moving. ‘See you later!’ ‘See you.’ I knew what he was thinking. And I secretly knew it too. That tonight wouldn’t be different. That I’d come home feeling the same uncertainty and emptiness that always followed an evening with Jake. But I had to hope. I needed there to be a chance that tonight could be different. That tonight we could move forward. Because, if we didn’t it meant I’d been used. It would mean that I’d fallen for the same play again. And the cycle would keep repeating itself. I needed that hope, Unwarranted and blind hope that the scrawny, dark haired boy smiling that smile really did care for me. And that I wasn’t the dumb girl who was there when he needed someone to console him, or someone to fuck. The car ride felt odd. Normally Jake talks a lot, about himself or his music, but tonight he seemed. It was time to go through the motions. "Two years. I convertedfour months..."The initial proponents of The Program insisted, at the time of itsinception, that its existence was an absolute must, that the fate ofhumankind depended upon not only its existence but its financing,which, within three years, outgrew the defense budget. As outrageous asthis claim might seem, it was true.It had taken, we now know, four years before the virus which sterilizedall natural-born human females was even discovered to exist, and by thetime its ultimate symptom had been discovered, it was too late: thebirthrate worldwide had dropped, and even before the medical worldfully understood what was going on, the economic experts had gone intocomplete panic mode. It didn't take an expert to figure out what washappening, or, more importantly, what was going to happen in the nextthree decades. If the birth-rate dropped to zero - which was wherethings were surely headed - the economic consequences were.
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